“Problem or Perspective” base... Giving place Vs. Granting space! - Part 1

Author Raja Krishnamoorthy / Kitty - Feb 27, 2024

Reflections in self-awareness

“I want my dad to understand that I don’t want to do engineering, I want to study music.”

“In our organization, there is an atmosphere of male dominance...women don’t seem to get high responsibilities.”

“My boyfriend is too possessive; he gets jealous if I spend too much of time even with my female friends!”

What are we suggesting here?

1.  I prefer the role of “musician” to that of an engineer.

2.  There must be enough senior manager roles for women, as available to men.

3.  I want my role as a “friend to others” to be accepted by my boyfriend.

Right?

You want a place for a role or a larger place for a role in your relationship with Dad, in the office, in the domain of friendship.

But that may not solve the problem unless we deeply understand the difference between place and space... in life.

• We have been taught that “everything has its place”.
• We look for “placements” in our institutes after graduation.
• We want to “place” our request to the boss.
• We want freedom, some accommodation- an exclusive place- to be provided in our relationship.
• We want “more understanding” from our parents, and spouses...allowing a better appreciation of our role needs.

Sure, ask for these but remember:

1.  Roles are always part of a structure.

2.  Place is fixed, a slot in an arrangement.

3.  A structure is “built” or “constructed”- physically, intellectually, emotionally ...in time & space

4.  Roles are connecting points of relationships.

5.  When you want more for your “role”, you are asking for an “expanded area” for your role, still with in the structure.

Hence this tension, tug-of-war, pulls & pushes- within a limited freedom- territory.

Hence it becomes a matter of “will” power.

“Will you allow me? Will you Give me freedom? Will you let go of your possessiveness?”

Conflicts, fights, aggression, tension, breakage...

You want to “Over-Come” the problem/ conflict/ the impasse.” You seem to want to WIN the battle...

But here is my suggestion:

Why not create a better “Under-Standing” of the situation, where you, me, and others, life can be looked at in totality and the issue looked at?

You may eliminate the “Problem” and have a new “Perspective”.

This is the essence of my suggestion:

Why don’t you begin with “More space” as a human being, than “larger place of a ROLE” in a structure?

Is that not the truth, that you want more “space”, actually?

Then begin as a “human connect” communication not as a “role demand” conversation.

Human connection begins with your connecting to your “SELF-AWARENESS!”

More of this clarity in part 2

In awareness & love

Raja Krishnamoorthy

27-2-2024, 7.45 am