Will you be my partner in this pilgrimage “The secret of Happiness: Managing the self”?

Author Raja Krishnamoorthy / Kitty - Nov 11, 2013

About 10 days back, my friend Dr. Senthil from the CII (Confederation of Indian Industries), Quality institute, Bengaluru called me. “Raja, we have a national conclave on Quality on 8th November & we want you to address our participants”. I checked my schedule & agreed the same evening and popped the question: what do you want me to speak on? His reply brought a huge smile on my face. He said, “Raja, we want you to speak on “The secret to Happiness: managing SELF”…and added “There will also be a Swamiji who will address the audience”.

We worked out the logistics & formalities. But after 2 days he called me to inform me that the Swamiji was not able to make it and I will have to fill in the “spiritual side” also. I laughed out loud this time! Filling in the spirit is not my usual vocation. But I knew this was coming sooner or later.

I am very serious about my talks. I average 2 public talks a month for different audiences and groups in different languages. I think thru and reflect a lot for my talks. Not for the content details as much as how to plan for covering the topic in a specific time frame.

That usually demands designing a “structure /approach” to the talk, more than the talk details or contents. Believe me, this aspect of structuring the talk can be quite demanding & time consuming. Of course, it depends on the topic, audience and the nature of the overall setting yet I have to deal with the challenge of QUANTITY: How to contain my HUGE collection of ideas, thoughts and stories with in a given time frame.

The preparation time can go into many hours and many versions of the structure. Deciding what to focus on and what to drop finally creates the “ready to deliver” frame work for the talk.  Dr.Senthil had indicated that I might have to talk for 45 to 50 minutes.

Finally on the 8th afternoon I landed up at the Taj Vivanta, Bengaluru & the conference venue, to warm greetings, back slaps, smiles & photographs with the other “self” Kitty, the actor! The program was running behind schedule by about 40 minutes. There were many sessions before this closing event and some spill over had happened. But it was fine, since I was flying back only the next day. I relaxed looking at the notes (some 15 pages of it…) and tweaking the points. And the time came, around 6.15 pm.

It was a challenging environment of the quality conclave, given this topic. Here were a set of around 550 professionals, who had spent a full day on Business matters, quality, processes, controls, assessments, competitive advantage and every “objective”/ Professional/ measurable factor that you can think of. And at the end of the day, here I am, bringing up on their face, a topic that falls into the domain of huge subjective reality: HAPPINESS! I was ready and delivered.

If you ask me, my level of satisfaction of about this talk delivered – on a 0 to 10 scale – would be at 7. It could have been closer to 8.5 if I had the necessary 45-50 minutes. I had, as I realized after going on stage, only around 30 minutes, thanks to the small pile up of delays of the earlier sessions. Some times one can’t help it I guess :-).

I felt that the talk was well received with couple of interesting questions at the end of the talk. The most interesting question was a terse one: “Mr. Raja Krishna Moorthy, Define soulfulness”. I did, and as we ended the talk and took a short break before the Award ceremony to follow, many participants came forward, and joined me. Some congratulated me, some appreciated the details and style of delivery, some invited me for their organizations for similar talks and a few asked clarifying questions- deep & very personal. Finally after about 35 minutes, I could leave the venue & return to the hotel. I was exhausted but delighted with the day’s experiences.

I want to share the flow of thought with you, since many of you had, before the talk–in my social media networks – wished me luck, shared personal expectations & encouraged me so much. Some of you had wanted to see the You-tube version or a recorded version / link of the talk. I will do that certainly, but I want to do some thing far more important, that you will know soon ☺

Without any sense of ego or ownership /copy write apprehensions, I deeply wish to share the structure & Flow with you:

“The secret of Happiness: Managing the self”

1. What is a secret? Why is happiness such a secret for todays’ human beings? 3 important reasons for it being a secret: Ignorance, Myths and Mix-ups.
2. The Myth of Managing, and more so, Myth of managing happiness
3. Avasaram, Adhigam & AAnavam syndrome: The pre-occupation with OBJECTS, Material and FORMS
4. Roles in life: the most Challenging FORMs.

5. “Good evening! Can I take your order for a plate of happiness & a cup of joy please?”… Ha ha! Life is neither a fast food restaurant to order joy, nor is happiness a standardized product – manufactured to specifications and home delivered.
6. The discovery of the treasure: Why misery is a choice and how happiness is hidden in a trove with in our reach.
7. 5 important reasons as to why we choose misery.
8. Why does the DRIVER get taken for a RIDE? Building the vehicle engine, but not building the road: Dominance of COMPETENCE and Decay of VALUES
9. The nature of self: Hello! Do I know my shadow?
10. Leading life, evolving as a human being: Self-awareness and Evolutionary Leadership
11. Being Human= Being in SELF: The gift of “eternal blissful presence”
12. Towards a new self, a new world (and my dormant face-book group!)

The FB friends’ encouragement was very special, when I shared about this scheduled talk in my status. I acknowledge all those who liked it and commented on it. My special thanks are due to Phil GATT, Shiva Ayer, Malathi, Ravi Samuel & Meena.

I am so thrilled with the way the structure & design for this talk has emerged that I WANT TO WRITE THIS BOOK IN THE NEXT 20 DAYS : “The secret of Happiness: Managing the SELF!”. I know this book can be DONE, because this book is NEEDED.

I have my distractions and challenges: The Delhi elections, The AAP and my Anti Corruption conscience; the need to complete pending tasks due to the long vacation I had taken in October; some of the film work schedules are coming up… But

I wish to write this within this month- by 30th November 2013!

I have 20 days to start & finish the book, may be in 12 chapters & about 150 pages; About me, you, all of us …and our struggle to lead a happy life; With anecdotes, stories and concepts that can be path breaking…Most importantly written with integrity & LOVE.

For me it is a NOW or NEVER book.

It is also yours, and you can bring it out thru me! Can you help me write the book? I don’t’ know exactly how but can you… Be with me, Share with me, Push me, Egg me on, Bet, Pray, love, Tease, Challenge, or Cajole me but make me write. BE me. Pleeeeaaaasssseeee….

It is not because I am an expert on happiness that I am wanting to write this book. But I am reasonably clear why human beings choose unhappiness. I wish to contribute, in my every possible way, to make this world far less miserable and far more abundant, far more meaningful for human beings; I am sure that will lead them to discovering true happiness.

Will you be my partner in this pilgrimage?



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